“Seeing all those people. All those people I had left behind. So many of them had passed away and I just could not bear it.”
My father says this line at the end of One Drop. It’s a culmination of our conversations – encouraged by my grandmother – to try and get to the root of why our relationship is strained. Here he’s explaining why he hadn’t attended my wedding in Jamaica (where he was born). I have acted out this conversation in front of audiences across the country for over 5 years. But during those 5 years I never believed this line coming from my father. Until I did the show at the Susan Bailis Assisted Living Facility in Boston two weeks ago.
My mother, AKA Mama Trudy, lives at Susan Bailis. She has struggled with mental health and physical ailments in the last few years, and needed a place to live that offered consistent support. Whenever I visit mom there, I’m treated like a minor celebrity. Not only is she one of the most popular residents, she is not shy when it comes to sharing how proud she is of her children with anyone who will listen. So last time I visited, everyone asked when they could see One Drop.
The next thing I knew I was standing in front of 10 or so residents – of varying cultural backgrounds and hues – performing the show and thinking to myself ‘how is the going to go over with these folks!?’ And this time, for the first time, when my father says he couldn’t return to Jamaica for my wedding because he could not bear to face the losses – I understood it. And I fell apart. I have never felt that depth of sadness nor of understanding both my parents more than in that moment. I was looking directly into the faces of people who had lost so many in their lives – and who, statistically, were sure to continue losing more. Those faces confronting their own mortality. I. Fell. Apart. It was the most profound experience of the last five years.
People ask all the time how I and the show have evolved over the years. Most are not surprised when I say how the prevalence of videos of police brutality, or the horror of the current administration have intrinsically changed the show. But this time I surprised myself. I found an even greater capacity to love and understand my parents. And I have the beautiful residents of Susan Bailis – and most especially my Mama Trudy – to thank for that.
