For just a little over two years I have traveled across the United States performing the one-woman show I wrote and produce, One Drop of Love. One Drop is about history and family, race, class, gender, privilege. One of the central themes – which I express decisively in the closing monologue – is the importance of having the courage to confront painful pasts in order to heal, and to help make real change in the present.
One of the reasons I’m invited to perform across the country – besides that One Drop resonates with a large cross-section of people – is that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are also producers. I met both when we were young (Matt in elementary school and Ben in high school), and we became fast friends because we shared a strong interest in theater. We spent many hours after school and on summer vacations in rehearsals and performing together. They have supported me – and many people from our community and others – in pursuing dreams, and sharing our interests and skills with others.
My heart sank when I learned of the leaked Sony email revealing Ben’s actions upon learning of his family’s history of slave ownership. I’m well aware that EVERYTHING in this country has ties to our horrific past. The media outlets that broke the story, the hackers’ ability to access the emails, the money audiences pay to see One Drop, my own ability to get on a plane – ALL of these are financed by slavery. I was not at all surprised this was part of Ben’s history; it is at the very core of U.S. history, and of our contemporary lives. What was initially difficult and surprising for me was Ben’s attempt not to share it.
That central theme of One Drop played over and over in my head: have the courage to confront and to learn from pain. After the show, white-identified people often ask me: I know I benefit from white privilege – what can I do about it? My response is (besides that I have more questions than answers): those who benefit from white privilege – which often includes denying or downplaying slavery’s impact on our current lives – might acknowledge it, and find ways to give up some of that privilege. I felt this was an opportunity for Ben to actively do this, and, perhaps, initiate some healing and positive change.
After a couple of days of reflection, and a brief exchange with Ben, I started to think a lot about another theme in One Drop: the importance of context. Through the course of the play I come to a resolution with my father by exploring his, my mother’s, my brother’s and my own past experiences – along with how ‘race’ came into existence in this country. Having this context, which has so strongly informed our life choices, helps me put my feelings into perspective. This context lends me the ability to forgive my parents, and myself, for some of the hurtful things I’ve suffered from or done to others in the past. When it comes to Ben’s actions, I recognize I have a whole lot more context than many. By watching his career from this vantage point, I’ve seen very clearly the pressure that comes with having the majority of the world know his name. This doesn’t change what I wish he had done (or not done), but it reminds me to continue to look for understanding in the complex spaces between the pain, and the history, and the great desire to make things better for the very many who continue to suffer.
(as I was writing this, Ben posted THIS statement on his Facebook page)
It bothers me that you write about this and conclude by stating that your personal resolution comes from your understanding of a context that you are not willing or able to share. I don’t mean to say that you should share it, but that it sounds more like name dropping when you speak so vaguely about it.
I’m sure there are many difficulties and pressures that come with his celebrity, but it is hard to imagine a context that makes this incident more acceptable or excusable. It’s easy to understand, even without more context. I can understand that it is the good in him that would make him embarrassed or ashamed to share this. And it is a forgivable mistake that he took direct responsibility for.
On the other hand, his comment that “the degree of interest in this story suggests that we are, as a nation, still grappling with the terrible legacy of slavery” bothers me because I think there is lot more interest in his desire to hide this information than there would have been by the fact itself if he had revealed it. I also don’t see why he would have assumed that a show like this would be willing to exclude information that might embarrass him. He’s right that there is an inherent vulnerability in participating in something like this, but that’s precisely because it could provide embarrassing information. Although, I don’t think it’s necessary to be embarrassed by it. It presents an opportunity to confront and learn to live with some of the hard truths of the origins of privilege.
Hi – I agree with so much of what you have said. Thanks for pointing out that my conclusion sounds more like name dropping. When I said I have context I was referring only to the information I had already shared in the post: that I’ve known him for a long time, and that I have a small sense of the pressure that comes with celebrity. I have no other information beyond that – and I didn’t mean to make it sound that way.
I also don’t mean to imply that this was acceptable or excusable. It was wrong. I just mean to say that it’s helpful for me to think about why people do what they do – perhaps that can help us all make different choices in the future.
Ultimately, his assumption was correct. The show did not include the information – and I think that is indicative of what happens when a person becomes a celebrity. You are given a tremendous amount of power – and, like privilege, it becomes such a part of your daily life that you don’t consider what it would be like without it. To be clear, none of what I’m saying is reflective of what he is or isn’t thinking. These are purely my observations from the little extra context into the situation I’ve been afforded (from the length of time I’ve known him, and watching him become a ‘name’).
Thank you for dialoguing about this – I hope you will continue to do so!
Pingback: Mixed Race Studies » Scholarly Perspectives on Mixed-Race » On Slave Ownership, Privilege and One Drop
Many African Americans have mixed ancestry, which means that many of us have ancestors who were slave owners. When we learn about this, it is certainly not uncommon to want to deny it. But it is a part of our heritage and something we need to understand. Not long ago I learned that one of my ancestors was a slave who was granted freedom and later became a wealthy slave owner. My first reaction was a wish not to know such information. I have come to understand that this is an important part of my heritage and that the privilege that came with my ancestor’s status is a part of that heritage. I hope that Ben Affleck’s experience can stimulate some broad discussion about how we can all come to terms with the entirety of our heritage (good and bad).